Author: Richard Marsh

Shinium Tinium,
Flying Fists He-Man boasts
Whirligig action, with
Fast-spinning balls!

Not just a weapon: this
Utilitarian
Gadget is handy for
Drying his smalls.

Splattery battery,
Snout Spout, the Fireman, whose
Metal proboscis is
Sure to amaze,

Is, through his reservoir’s
Undercapacity,
Able to douse but a
Bekonscot blaze.

ZERO-ONE-ZERO-ONE.
See-through, Roboto’s chest
Gives up a secret that’s
Sure to astound:

Contrarotational
Pectoral cogwheels, which
Seem to be there to make
Nipples go round.

Asteroid blastadroid!
Rokkon and Stonedar fly
Meteoritically,
We’re to suppose.

Heat shields can’t work with a
Hole in the bottom, though…
They must fly backwards whilst
Touching their toes.

Crashington bashington!
I name you TRAP JAW. O!
Blue one-armed bandit from
Skeletor’s troupe!

Weapons in place of your
Ambidexterity!
Dangle to war on your
Head-mounted loop!

Munchausen Funchausen
Come off it, Faker, your
Inauthenticities
Leave none impressed.

Not just not He-Man; not
Even a robot! That’s
Clearly a sticker you’ve
Got on your chest.

Higgledy piggledy,
Good old Attak Trak, with
Four floppy Weetabix
Rather than wheels,

Maybe because of this
Peculiarity,
Still has the power to
Give you the feels.

Jiggery pokery!
False-feathered Stratos, with
Implacability,
Claims he’s a bird;

Faced with the fact that his
Parents are mammals, he
Just stares back blankly, like
He hasn’t heard.

Terror Claws Skeletor
Sports what he’s sure are the
Must-have accessory:
Gloves with some clout.

Though you may question his
Fashionability,
Don’t let him hear you – he’ll
Scratch your eyes out.

Battle Cat, Battle Cat…
If one removes the hat,
Cognitive dissonance
Troubles a child.

Telly and toy line seem
Irreconcilable.
This should be Cringer, so
Why’s he still wild?